About thirty years ago when I was in high school I was diagnosed with endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I will never forget that awful afternoon sitting in the doctors office being told that I would never birth a child of my own. At that point I was sixteen years old and I wasn't even thinking about having kids yet. It was always in my heart to be a mama to lots of kids, so being told this stung really bad. I felt the world crashing in around me, thinking that I would never be a mama, or what guy would want me because I could not provide a baby for him. I began to question God and wondering, why was I going through this, but through it all I never lost site that God had a plan for me. I think the hardest part through all of this was waiting and wondering what was going to happen to me and my life.
Then, one Sunday night I was sitting alone and watching TV. There was a documentary on regarding China and how they treated their women and little girls. It was filled with sadness and these women meant nothing to their country. They started talking about how they were abandoning their little girls and orphanages were beginning to fill up with all these unwanted girls. I knew at that moment God was speaking to me and saying, This is how you will be a mama. You will adopt!! I had a peace that overwhelmed me that is so hard to explain. The only thing that I can say is God placed that unconditional love and peace in my heart. I am not saying that I still had doubts and fears, but it was always in God's hands. I began at that very moment praying for a little girl that would someday become my daughter. I had no idea when or where, but I knew it would happen.
A few years later I met and started dating my best friend and the love of my life, David. While dating we talked about our future and I had to tell him that if we were to get married, we may never have a child of our own. I think the most precious and reassuring words I have ever heard where I am not marring you for children, I am marring you for you! It made me think again at how Christ loves us for who we are, no matter whats wrong with us. I expressed to David that my heart is in adoption. We still at this point didn't know when or where, but we knew it was going to happen.
A couple years after we were married, God showed us He has a really funny sense of humor! I became pregnant. Hooray for us! But I was very angry about this. I think I was so mad, because I had grieved so much about never having a baby of my own I wasn't looking at the situation correctly. I should have been looking at it as a miracle from God. You know those moments in life when your spouse puts you in check? I had one of those moments. I remember crying on David's shoulder and he just held me. After I had my crying spell, he looked at me and said, "You need to be thanking God for this baby that you never thought you would have." WOW, talk about a reality check. We had a beautiful baby boy who was born on my 22 birthday. God had given us our first child.
We still had no idea if I would be able to have another child, but we knew God was in control of our lives and who was going to be in it. God knew how many children we were going to have and when. Two years later God blessed us with another child that I was able to carry. We had a cute baby girl. God had given us our second child.
A few years had passed, and my heart was still yearning for another child and I knew that baby was in China. I had talked to David about it and we prayed for God's guidance about another child, but we still had no idea when He would open this door and this child would be placed in our life. Several years later, in February of 2006, our lives changed forever when we met a baby girl that had just been adopted from China. God spoke to us through this little girl named Ellie Lou. She was so cute. We knew at that moment we needed to start our adoption journey. We knew God was saying your baby is out there waiting for you, but just be patient, this journey is long. We filled out lots of paperwork, went through a detailed interview process, and background check after background check, and waited patiently for our soon to be daughter. This journey of adoption was over a two year process.
We got our call for our daughter on April 15, 2008. I think when you first see that picture of your child, you just know that God is and has always been faithful through this whole process. I just knew that she was our baby girl, thousands of miles away, just waiting for a forever mama and daddy. We still had to wait a couple of more months before we could go get her. Those last months were hard, but I knew God had His hands on our little girl the whole time.
Our little one was placed in our arms on July 7, 2008. God had given us our third child. Hannah's life was forever changed at that moment. She now had a FOREVER family that would love her unconditionally for the rest of her life. I think for me, through this whole process God taught me that you don't have to be blood to be a family. There are so many children that need a forever mama and daddy. Hannah is an amazing child and a true gift from God. The Chinese always say when a child is adopted "Lucky Baby", but I think David and I are the lucky ones. Looking at what Hannah had and has come from, we are the lucky ones. These children like her just want to be loved. If you have love and are even thinking about adoption, just pray and let God lead. God will guide in what direction you need to go. There is a whole wide world that is filled with children that need a family.
Every child deserves a forever family!!!